The Dark Secret of Palpatine

This image was taken from Issue 2 of the Dark Empire comic series published by Dark Horse. The story takes place six years after the Rebels destroyed the Second Death Star in Return of the Jedi. A reborn clone of the Emperor returns to reunite the fragments of the Empire.

This page clearly illustrates the fact that Palpatine had been cloning himself for a long time. This is a very important plot element that was completely ignored in the Prequel Movies. This could have been used to beautifully illustrate Palpatine's motives in wanting to destroy the Jedi.

In Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine tells Anakin the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis. This is almost a great story! One of the few beautiful nuggets of the Original Prequels that will remain, mostly unchanged, in the Improved.

Plagueis had discovered the secret of immortality. Ironically, his apprentice murdered him in his sleep after Plagueis had taught him everything he knew. Palpatine was that apprentice, and used the lure of this power to convince Anakin to turn to the Dark Side.

In the Original Prequels the "secret" is that Plagueis could convince the midi-chlorians to keep himself and others alive. According to Palpatine only Plageuis had achieved this form of immortality. He convinces Anakin that together they could figure out the secret again.

First, This contradicts the idea that Plageuis had taught Palpatine everything he knew.

Also, Midi-chlorians have been erased from the Improved Prequels history.

Finally, Cloning is not the secret.

June 15th, The Phantom Menace Begins....

Laugh it up fuzz ball!

I have been reading a lot about other Prequel rewrites. There is a lot out there. Some of it is pretty good, some of it terrible. Some people take it to a whole other level! This made me very happy!

This is a portion of my favorite so far! I'd like to thank Jonathan Wojcik a.k.a. Scythemantis for reminding me not to take things so seriously! Gotta laugh!

Six year old Anakin Skywalker steps outside to do his desert planet chores like planting water seeds or milking lizards or some dumb thing when suddenly a Jawa Sandcrawler pulls up in his front yard (doing this totally sweet donut in the process) and all of the Jawas just start pouring out of it, like buckets of fucking Jawas flying out in every direction and start beating him with mangled droid arms. They bust into his house and fuck everything up. He has to watch them trade his hot mom to Jabba the Hutt (who is all making out with her and shit in front of him) in exchange for this bitching awesome hat (it has LED lights that spell out "SLUTS" in Jawa talk) and keep Anakin around to scrape off sand barnacles or whatever space problem you get when you drive Sandcrawlers. Over the course of eight years he pieces together Threepio from droid scraps to keep his sanity but the Jawas find the droid before it even gets turned on on and they sell it to some space guy who uses it . Anakin gets so pissed that he goes and gets the awesome hat and he punches this big hole in the top. The Jawas are so mad they throw him in the sarlaac and he is digested for 1,000 years in horrible pain. SPOILER: he was not that Anakin Skywalker!!

Original Post

Bogleech.com This is Jon's site. Excellent information on strange stuff!

Scythemantis on Deviant Art

Not to mention, how cool is this? One of Scythemantis' many collections.

Your weapons, you will not need them.

He will join us, or die, my master...

This is a short list of things that I am erasing from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.


1. Jar Jar Binks.


2. The Planet Naboo.


3. 9 year old Anakin Skywalker.


4. Podracing.


5. The Droid Army.


6. Tatooine.


This is a short synopsis of what will happen in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

Palpatine's puppet, Lord Maul, leads a group of Sith devotees and Non-Human races. They blockade the planet Alderaan, the shining jewel of the galaxy, in protest of their mistreatment by the very corrupt Republic. Two Jedi Knights are sent to resolve the issue.

Yoda and Obi-Wan are attacked before negotiations can even start. They escape to Alderaan hiding in the landing ships of the Sith Army, which is composed mostly of non-force using troops, and no droids. The Sith have spent a thousand years in exile, but many secret groups existed throughout those years building strength.

Anakin will enter The Phantom Menace at 18. Obi-Wan and Yoda rescue him on Alderaan while making their way to the Capital City Aldera. Flying in Anakin's ship they are chased by Sith Fighters lead by the Sith Witch, Ventress.

Anakin's amazing piloting skills are the only reason they safely reach Aldera. Obi-Wan and Yoda both recognize Anakin's potential. Yoda warns Obi-Wan not to let his pride control his actions. Amidala Organa, the twin sister of Bail Organa, and Anakin are immediately attracted to eachother. The King is dead, murdered by Sith agents. Amidala will go to Coruscant, she wants to know what would push these Non-Human races into aligning with such obvious evil.

They escape Alderaan, with Princess Amidala Organa, and go to Coruscant. She speaks on behalf of Alderaan, attempting to avoid all out war. Other Senators, call for just that. War against the Sith and the Non-Human Races that have aligned with them. Meanwhile Qui-Gon Jinn, a leading member of the Jedi Council, with unanimous vote of the Council refuse Anakin's wish to be trained as a Jedi. Obi-Wan then takes it upon himself to begin to train him secretly, believing he can instruct Anakin just as well as Yoda. Palpatine quietly watches as the pieces fall into place.

Against Princess Amidala's wishes, The Senate mobilizes the Republic Army to protect Alderaan. The Jedi Council forbids any Jedi to join the conflict, telling them to be patient because there has not been a full scale war in a thousand years. They are very worried that the younger Jedi, who have never seen battle, will not be able to deal with the horrors of war.

Obi-Wan and Anakin rally a few thousand of those very same young Jedi and rush off to fight for Alderaan. Yoda is terribly disappointed in Obi-Wan. Amidala is torn by her love for Anakin and her wish for peace.

Palpatine's plan to divide the Republic and the Jedi with war is fully put into motion. Lord Maul and Ventress lead an army of alien races against the Republic Army and the Young Jedi. In the midst of battle, Obi-Wan is shocked to see, what he believes to be, well known famous Jedi fighting alongside the Sith!

The day is won for the Republic as the Alien/Sith army retreats from Alderaan. Obi-Wan and Anakin are hailed as heroes. The Council, the Senate and the entire galaxy are shaken by the news that apparently some Jedi have defected to the Sith... or have The Clone Wars begun?


May the Force be with us all...

A New Hope . . . For the Prequels

This is the beginning of a great Journey...

I can't stand the Star Wars prequels.

The sadness of knowing that these stories were turned into the most massive marketing scheme of all time, is unbearable for me.

So I have decided to rewrite them as I see fit. A feat that I am not alone in attempting! Others like myself, terribly disappointed in the Prequels, have decided to take matters into their own hands.

I say: To any and all other intrepid story tellers out there, keep going! Let us be inspired to create better and with more heart!

Now, to introduce the fellas. These two gentlemen are dearest of friends and most excellent humans. Joe, Photoshop Wizard and Treasure Hunter with a keen eye. Ru Ra, Mythic Adventurer and Musical Master. Then there is me! Caleb, Storyteller and Artist. Together we will give you a free online comic retelling the greatest story ever told.

No Jar-Jar. No angry, hateful Yoda screaming and attacking with mini-lightsaber. No bad acting from Hayden Christensen.

You will see Alderaan, the shining jewel of the Old Republic! You will see Obi-Wan Kenobi taking it upon himself to train Anakin as a Jedi! You will witness the true Yoda, who only uses the Force for knowledge, and defense... Never for attack.

There won't be any profit made from this in any way, ever. The entire goal is to demonstrate that it is imperative to share the love of mythology and storytelling, without the need to strangle somebody's wallet.

No toys, no lunchboxes, no pez dispensers, and sadly no flamethrowers... (Sorry, Yogurt)

So what are we waiting for!?! Keep your pants on. I'm getting there!

The process has been long and involved. Heavy amounts of studying Pre-Prequel Star Wars History. Texts, one in particular, that are full of Legends laid down that were either forgotten, ignored or completely turned upside down. Free from the taint of marketing and advertising focus groups, Ru and I focused our efforts over the last 3 years into creating a skeletal storyline. That skeletal framework became a solid piece of writing.

Now I must begin the process of Drawing and Inking, so that Joe will have something to color!

In the meantime I will leave you with wondrous tid bits to keep your mouths watering and your hearts yearning for when you will learn of the Princess and The Hero. Those fallen, and those, twisted. War, injustice, greed, and the lust for power. Innocents crushed by the boot falls of the Empire when the Republic crumbles under the weight of it's corruption.

I will also give you my scripts to read. All you have to do is email me!