Monday, May 24, 2010

You're far too trusting...

A New Hope is full of lies.

"There will be no escape for the Princess this time" C-3PO to R2-D2

When Leia's hologram appears while Luke is cleaning R2, Luke asks who she is. 3Po replies"I'm not quite sure, sir. I think she was a person of some importance on our last voyage."

When Luke asks about the recording, 3PO translates R2's lie that Leia's message is old data and to pay it no mind. R2 lies again immediately. R2 tells Luke that if he removes the restraining bolt on him, he will be able to play back Leia's whole message.

"A young Jedi, named Darth Vader. Who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father." The most famous lie of Star Wars. Point of view...

Grand Moff Tarkin offers Leia a chance to save her home world by giving up the Rebels hidden base. "Dantooine, they're on Dantooine..." Leia's last hope effort to prevent the destruction of Alderaan.

Tarkin then gives the order to destroy Alderaan anyway... and is astounded to find out later that Leia had lied to him about the Rebel Base on Dantooine.

Lastly is 3PO lies to a Stormtrooper on the Death Star so he and R2 can get back to the Millenium Falcon. "All this commotion has short circuited my counterpart here, I'd like to take him down to maintenance."

The difference between these lies and the lies of the Prequel Trilogy is that in A New Hope they are used purposefully. Most importantly is Obi-Wan's lie to Luke about his father. What he told Luke WAS true, from a certain point of view... That makes all the difference.

The lie that Qui-Gon Jinn was the Jedi Master who instructed Obi-Wan is useless. More importantly it contradicts the Original Trilogy. The lie that Yoda would use a lightsaber as an 800 year old Jedi Master is a contradiction and it also debases an amazing character. These lies don't serve to pull two stories together. They split them apart.

The most beautiful lies of A New Hope are told by everyone's favorite droids! The concept that droids could, and would lie is fantastic. The droids lies are also explained... In the radio drama adaptation of A New Hope, Leia gives R2 and 3PO a special command that allows them to lie on her behalf to protect the information in R2. This makes these lies useful, plot driven and absolutely imperative to storytelling.

Where as battle droids who say "Uh-oh" and ignorantly talk amongst themselves is senseless. A relatively scary or at least intimidating army of robots becomes a joke.

It's as though Lucas just gave up on storytelling with the Prequels. Everything that can be is explained away in dialogue. "Master what are Midi-Chlorians?" Which is followed by a boring semi-scientific explanation which destroys the mystical energy field that surrounds and penetrates all living things.

We have planned devious lies for the Improved Star Wars prequels. Some based on the Original Trilogy, and some based on the good pieces of the Prequels. One of our goals is to tell this story so that when you are done reading it you will understand the connection between the two trilogies. You will understand the true sadness of the destruction of Alderaan. You will know what will make Obi-Wan shift his point of view. Most of all you will be destroyed by the Fall of Anakin Skywalker. Join us, and read!

Please make sure you click the title link for this weeks blog. It's a special easter egg! I guarantee you will laugh as hard as I did!



  1. Just a few corrections to add to the logic of prequel bashing.

    Yoda did instruct (not train) Obi Wan as he did all younglings.

    Qui Gon had to be there to learn the path to immortality because Darth Vader did not seem to know what Obi Wan meant by "Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine".

    How can Yoda train Jedi in all areas when those areas include swordsmanship if he is not capable of fighting himself. He is feeble in the prequels (walks with a cane) but when he relies on the force he can do greater things.

    Midi-Chlorians answer the question from the original trilogy of why is the force strong in Luke's family, which he told Leia that even she had it. She heard his cry in Bespin and answered when even Obi Wan did not. Somehow it is hereditary, but only the use of it not the force itself.

    Contrary to popular belief, the expanded universe are not canon. Lucas cannot be expected to bend his story around more than a hundred books. The Clone army as a secret army is a great plot because Sidious is behind the separatists who hate Palpatine (they don't know its him and he is behind the clones as a means to start a war that weakens the Jedi to where he can destroy them and declare martial law. It is so much deeper than the original plots of Ewoks defeating the Empire or that a concentrated laser blast destroy a planet in a few seconds, not to mention Han gets frozen with his arms tied to his sides but once frozen his hands are up. You've also got one unintentional lie when Obi Wan remarks about the Jawas death by saying "Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise..." when they have terrible aim in all 3 movies.

    Also how did Luke torpedos do a 90 degree turn to blow up the death star? Why was the controls for the Rancor's metal door inside the enclosure? When did Luke learn to use his light saber? What about how many times the Millennium Falcon rolls over in space with the unseatbelted passengers standing behind Han and Chewie without a scratch.

    Jar Jar and Qui Gon's interaction is the prequels version of Han and C3POs, they are the only ones in the movie annoyed by the characters and everyone else is sypathetic

    You may say the dialogue of the battle droids is silly but what of C3POs comic relief or chewbacca's 3 different sounds being understood by Han as a complete language.

    There is also the fact that Leia's home planet is destroyed and ten minutes later and for the rest of the trilogy she is fine and never mentions it. At least Anakin is torn up about his mom.

    One freebie the fact that a droid army almost took over explains why C3PO and R2D2 were not admitted into the cantina and were referred to as "their kind"

    The true missing link is why Leia says that she remembers her mother as beautiful.

    Bottom line: We like what we grow up with because it is magic in our childhood. Kids today prefer the prequels and call the original trilogy to slow. (unless brainwashed by us, and believe me I've tried with my kids to no avail)

    These are just a few things and I actually like the original better.

  2. "You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to, depend greatly on our point view."

    Thanks for reading! It means a lot to me that you would take the time to write such a thoughtful response!


  3. To Inside Nate's Head:

    Dude, I'm 14 and I like the originals better. CGI characters and ships don't convey the same effect as the original puppets, masks and models because they're not tangible. That's the "magic" of the original trilogy to which you refer. All the prequels do is over-explain and ruin the mystique of the originals and line George Lucas' pockets!